Maybe it gets better

Maybe it does get better.

Sometimes I smile wider,genuinely, from the bottom of heart and other days I can't even bring myself to even move my mouth 

I try so hard to be a better version of myself but how will I do it when the version I had invisioned is permanently erased

Everything I had ever wanted is strapped off of me and now I have to create another life,another belonging,another home but where will I find warmth ,the love,the peace and everything that makes up a home

Some days I find myself shopping for things I need to carry on, I find myself smiling because everything is falling into place 

Then I find myself ,deep my thoughts, longing for what has passed 

Because who am I without it,

Where am I going if it's not the destination 

Then again my world crushes right before my eyes,

I don't even shed a tear because it's the new norm

One day ,we up 

The next day ,we fall

But what if one day we gonna stay at the top

Engulfed in every hope that was once crushed 

Smiling because  we don't even have to force myself to

Again ,what if?